What advice would you give to your younger self today?

If I Could Coach My Younger Self 

I used to work at a software company in NYC. While it wasn’t the most exciting job, it paid well and provided benefits, allowing me the space to figure out my dream career. Every Monday, I received an email highlighting fun events around the city. I would sift through the list, hoping to find activities to guide me toward my aspirations.

One night, I attended a free workshop led by a man who taught participants how to start a business. At the end of the session, he offered a complimentary consultation to discuss the workshop in more detail.

I signed up and learned the foundational tools, but one significant hurdle remained: I still didn’t know what kind of business I wanted to pursue. Joe, the instructor, suggested I attend a workshop hosted by Bridgette, a stylist who hosted many events. I was seriously considering a career in the events industry at that time.

Bridgette was a stylist, and her workshop focused on cultivating personal style. As a fan of the show What Not to Wear, I was thrilled to experience something similar firsthand.

After the workshop, I decided to hire Bridgette. I was eager for a career transformation, and revamping my style would be exciting. 

This was the first time I invested in myself, and I spent more money on clothes than ever. I booked her complete package, which included a closet edit and a shopping spree. I truly enjoyed every moment, and the brands Bridgette introduced me to were fabulous—from trendy clothes to stylish shoes. I can still vividly recall all the pieces I purchased.

While I loved the experience, I briefly considered turning this into my new business. However, I’m still unsure why I didn’t pursue that path then. But the universe seemed to nudge me when I stumbled upon the philosophy of feng shui.

After reading a book explaining how to feng shui your home, I became interested and prompted to explore further. The philosophy of this book led me to workshops on the subject, and one thing led to another: I found myself at a feng shui certification school in Edgewater, NJ.

After a few conversations with the director and former students, I enrolled, even though the program had already started. I would begin the following weekend and complete the remainder of the course the next year.

My first weekend of workshops was exhilarating. I learned about the five elements and face reading and was thrilled to gain new insights along this path.

The program was transformative, but I didn’t realize its impact until later.

A few months in, while I was excited about my learning, I began to feel frustrated with my job. I felt a clash of energies—a conflict of yin and yang. 

I wrestled with applying all the valuable lessons I had learned about feng shui, such as the energy of thoughts, intentions, and surroundings. Looking back now, I wish I had a coach to help me shift my mindset regarding my work challenges.

The hardest obstacle was my difficult relationship with the director, who undermined me. Although many others found her challenging, I struggled to understand our dynamics and why she didn’t acknowledge my contributions or consider me for a promotion.

With hindsight, I see my role in that struggle and why we clashed. I’ve come to appreciate the true power of our thoughts and the law of attraction.

At that time, I had a wonderful therapist and a supportive mentor from my group, but things still didn’t quite click. It was tough because the information I was learning was exciting, yet these new mindset tools were difficult to apply to dealing with a challenging boss.

I would hear all these inspiring transformation stories, but the deeper steps I needed to take to change my situation were often left out.

If I could coach myself back then, based on what I’ve learned about mindset today, I would have focused on reshaping my thoughts about the director, my work, and the overall situation. I would have embraced a new perspective on my job and her role. Instead of feeling unmotivated, I would have prioritized changing my mindset and maintaining that outlook until I completed my certification.

Instead, I reached my breaking point due to her treatment and ended up handing in my two weeks’ notice. It felt like a daring move and a fresh start, but it wasn’t the winning decision I had hoped for.

Just because you discover your dream job or business doesn’t mean everything will fall into place; you carry your experiences and challenges with you. Transitioning to new environments doesn’t guarantee a fresh start—your issues have a way of following you.

I understand now that your beliefs and where you direct your attention matter immensely. This is an ongoing journey that you will constantly refine throughout life.

I have more to share about how feng shui led me to fashion feng shui, which I’ll discuss next week.

But for now, as we step into February, ask yourself: Is your life truly where you want it to be?

What part of your life can you begin to script a new story?

Stay tuned for Part 2 next week!